|fanfr.com > scripts > saison8|
|Script Saison 8 Episode 10|
Titre US : The One With Monica's Boots
Titre FR : Celui qui défendait sa soeur
Écrit par Brian Buckner, Sebastian Jones et Robert Carlock
Réalisé par Kevin S. Bright
Transcrit par Eric Aasen
Traduit par Guillaume Martin
Monica: Hey! So what do you think?
Chandler: New haircut? (Monica nods ‘No.’) Necklace? (No) Dress? (No) Boots? (Monica nods ‘Yes.’) Boots!
Monica: Yes! Now, they’re a little more than I normally spend on boots...or rent (Shows him the receipt.)
Chandler: Oh my God!
Monica: I know.
Chandler: I’m gonna miss being able to afford food.
Monica: I’m sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you."
Chandler: She had a point. (Shows her the receipt.)
Rachel: (entering) Hi!
Rachel: Oh my God! (Notices the boots) Oh Monica! Those boots are amazing!
Monica: They’re mine!
Chandler: Yeah well, too bad we’re gonna have to return them.
Rachel: Return them?! Shh! They’re gonna hear you!
Monica: Honey, I’m not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but I’m going to wear them all the time. You’ll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?
Chandler: I have you.
Monica: Nice try; I’m keeping the boots.
Ross: That’s right, I love you! And-and I’m gonna play with you all the time.
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel: (pause) He’s talking to the baby.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I can’t wait to hear your first words," I thought, "There’s a trick."
Rachel: Okay. Well, I gotta go you guys. I’ll see you later.
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Joey: Oh hey Rach, listen—Hi!
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin’ to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren...
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no, not her, not her. My youngest sister, Dina, she’s really interested in fashion, and she wants to talk to someone successful, y’know, to give her some advice.
Rachel: I guess I can talk to one of my supervisors...
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Rachel: Really?! Oh my God! I’m successful!
Joey: Okay, so will you meet with her?
Rachel: Yes! I’d love to! Have her come by the office.
Joey: Great! Thanks! You’re gonna love her so much. And—Oh, she’s the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, y’know the S.A.T’s?
Joey: She took ‘em!
(Joey goes to get coffee and Rachel exits as the camera pans to Phoebe and Ross on the couch.)
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesn’t Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Ross: Yeah. Why?
Phoebe: Sting has a son that goes there too!
Ross: Yeah I know; he’s in Ben’s class.
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Phoebe: Sting’s son, seven years old and there’s a picture.
Ross: What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?
Phoebe: No, it’s New York magazine. It’s an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Ross: Uh, I actually haven’t even met him.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah that’s too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but it’s totally sold out. I know! Why don’t you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two I’ll take you.
Ross: Well actually, I’m picking Ben up tomorrow, maybe he’ll be there.
Phoebe: There you go! Oh, you are so lucky! You might actually get to meet Sting tomorrow! That’s why you have kids!
Monica: Hey guys!
Rachel: Hi Monica!
Monica: Hey. (Sits down on the arm of the couch.)
Rachel: Hi boots.
Monica: See Chandler? I’m getting a lot of use out of them already! They’re very practical. See, you can wear them with dresses, with skirts, with pants...
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
Phoebe: Wow! They’re beautiful!
Monica: (almost crying) They hurt so much!
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Rachel: Well-well you can give them to me! I haven’t felt my feet in years!
Monica: I can’t! I spent so much money on them and I told Chandler that I’d wear them all the time, I just can’t give them away!
Phoebe: Well then get your money back and return them!
Monica: I can’t do that either! The soles’ are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: (returning to his seat) Hey!
Ross: Hey I uh just picked up Ben from school...
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I don’t think you did a very thorough job!
Ross: I dropped him off at Carol’s. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that I’m not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Phoebe: Oh no! Why not?
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Sting’s son do not get along.
Phoebe: How come?!
Ross: Apparently, Sting’s son made fun of the fact that Ben’s moms are lesbinims.
Phoebe: Wait! But Ross if they don’t get along then you should smooth things over. Make them be friends.
Ross: Phoebe, you can’t force kids to be friends.
Phoebe: Sure you can! Give them some blocks, put them in a playpen!
Ross: Playpen?! Ben’s seven!
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) He’s really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Ross: Look I’m sorry Pheebs, I can’t do it.
Phoebe: Yes you can! Sting says so himself!
Phoebe: (singing) Rosssss can!
Ross: Look Phoebe, I’m sorry it’s just...
Phoebe: (singing) Rossss can!
Ross: Phoebe, I...
Phoebe: (singing) Rosss can! Give me the tickets! Ross can give me the tickets!!
(Ross runs out to get the tickets.)
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Rachel: Oh Joey, I’m hardly a...
Joey: My little sister Dina!
Rachel: Right! Hi Dina!
Rachel: Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin’ with me. Joey’s told me so much about you!
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, I’ll let you two fash...ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well let’s talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Let’s see, there’s design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, there’s-there’s sales, which is great because you get to travel...
Dina: I...I don’t care about fashion! I’m pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me!
Rachel: (stunned) And there’s marketing...
Monica: (standing up) Ahhhhhhhh!
Chandler: (opening the door) What’s wrong?
Monica: Oh nothing I’m just—just was yawning. (Mimics the groan from before and stretches.)
Chandler: Oh don’t forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Monica: Honey, we don’t really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Chandler: Now sweetie, I know you don’t like my office parties, but you can wear your new boots. See? Every cloud has a...supple leather lining.
Monica: I-I don’t-I don’t think that I’m gonna wear the boots tonight.
Chandler: Why not?
Monica: Well y’know, I’m just-I’m just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots don’t really go with it.
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Monica: Fine! If you want me to wear the boots, I’ll wear the boots. In fact, I’ll go into my room right now and y’know try the outfit on.
Monica: Okay? (She starts to walk which causes her to start crying) Ooo wee! Christmas party in my boots! (Runs into the bedroom and mixes saying ‘ow’ with laughing.)
Dina: I-I can’t go in there. I can’t tell him!
Rachel: Honey, it’s going to be okay. He’s been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; that’s what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Dina: Thank you.
Joey: Hey! It’s my fashion girls! (They don’t react.) What’s wrong?
Rachel: Honey, why don’t you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. What’s, what’s going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dad’s heart? Is that a sandwich?
Dina: Joe, mom and dad are fine...
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Rachel: Joey...there’s something that you...should know. Dina?
Dina: I’m pregnant.
Joey: (angrily) What?!
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You can’t be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
Dina: Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!
Rachel: What?! Dina...
Joey: (to Rachel) Bub!!! (Points at her and quiets Rachel.) (To Dina) I can’t believe this! You’re the good one! You went to college! Both years! Who did this to you?!
Dina: Bobby Corso, but he’s a real nice guy. I like him a lot. He’s real funny.
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina...if he’s funny...laugh! All right, I’ll be back in a little while! You stay here!
Dina: Why? Where are you going?
Joey: I can’t look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)
Rachel: I know.
(Joey storms back in and covering his face so he doesn’t see Dina grabs the sandwich and heads back out.)
Phoebe: Oh, there you are Ben!
Ben: Aunt Phoebe, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Well, I heard you’re having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boy’s name is Sting’s son.
Ben: Jack? I hate him! He’s a jerk.
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
Phoebe: Him you’re friends with. (Starts looking at the children trying to find Jack and a teacher notices her.)
The Teacher: Excuse me. Can, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, I’m looking for Jack’s parents.
The Teacher: Are you with one of the students?
Phoebe: Uh-huh, I’m with Ben.
The Teacher: Are you one of Ben’s mothers?
Phoebe: I am one of Ben’s mothers. I’m a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
The Teacher: Well hi, I’m Jenny Boone. I’m the new teacher here.
The Teacher: I’ve only met your partner Carol.
Phoebe: Ah! Okay so that would make me Susan.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jack’s parents to discuss the problems he’s having with Ben? (Phoebe nods ‘Yes.’) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let’s do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
The Teacher: Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? ‘Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. She’s such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Chandler: Y’know, that party wasn’t bad.
Monica: Yeah! I didn’t know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!
Chandler: I don’t see any uh, cabs. Maybe we should just walk?
Monica: Oh no, we can’t walk!
Chandler: What honey, it’s like fifteen blocks to the subway. Let’s go.
Monica: Hey! Do you think that we can get to the subway right there if we climb down through the manhole cover?
Chandler: What’s going on?
Monica: I can’t walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! They’re killing me! One toe at a time!
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) It’s oddly unsettling.
Monica: How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?
Chandler: Hop on.
Monica: Okay. Wait, just give me a second, I need to just get my boots off first. (She starts taking them off.) Ah...Ooh...Oohh...Ohh...Oh God...Ohh...Oh...Ohh...Ohhhh...
Chandler: Honey, I know you’re in pain right now, but I’m a little turned on.
Dina: Do you ever worry that you’ll be walking and your baby will just like slip out?
Rachel: What college was that Dina?
(Joey enters dragging a guy.)
Dina: Oh my God! Bobby!
Bobby: Hi Dina. Good to see you.
Rachel: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman...
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Joey: Don’t interrupt me when I’m talkin’ to God! Now where were we? Oh right, okay. Do you Dina, take this man...
Joey: Oh you’ll take ‘em!
Dina: No I won’t!
Joey: Hey! You don’t get a say in this!
Dina: Yes I do!
Joey: Ahhh! I heard "I do", we’re halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, it’s not legal. Okay? They-they don’t have a marriage license, they don’t have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Rachel: You’re supposed to realize that they are adults! And that they can make their own decisions.
Joey: No they can’t! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
Rachel: Heyyyyy! Contraceptives are not always effective! (To Bobby and Dina) Right?
Bobby: Yeah...we kinda didn’t use any...
Rachel: Oh, come on kids! A little help here!
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Sting’s pen...that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Trudie Styler: Hi! (By the way, it’s actually her.)
Trudie Styler: I’m Trudie.
Trudie Styler: You must be Ben’s mum.
Phoebe: Why else would I be here?
Trudie Styler: Do sit down.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (They go and sit down.)
Trudie Styler: I gather Jack and Ben haven’t been getting along lately.
Trudie Styler: I’m told there are two sides to this story, but all I’ve heard is that Ben’s a bit of a poo-poo head.
Phoebe: Umm, I’m sorry. Won’t-won’t Jack’s father be joining us?
Trudie Styler: Oh I’m sorry, Jack’s father is not available.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Okay. Well then, could we reschedule? For say, Friday night perhaps at 8 o’clock?
Trudie Styler: Oh no, I know that wouldn’t work. My husband’s in concert.
Phoebe: Concert. Yeah. That does put us in...quite a pickle. Because you see I’m very busy before and after the concert, and he’s obviously busy during.
Trudie Styler: So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
Trudie Styler: Are you here for tickets?
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. Four would be great.
Trudie Styler: I’m not giving concert tickets to someone who’d use their son like this!
Phoebe: Oh good! Then you’re in luck! Ben’s not my son!
Trudie Styler: (stands up) Look, I’ve just pressed a button, triggering a silent alarm. Any minute now, the police will be here!
Phoebe: The Police? Here? A reunion?! (She gets out her camera.)
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
Monica: (notices something in the window) Oh wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Chandler: Oh I’m sorry! Do you need a break?
Monica: My boots in tan! Hey! Can you get a little closer so I can see the price?
Chandler: I can see it from right here. It’ll cost you one husband.
Monica: Okay, I’m sorry. I think I can walk the rest of the way now. Just-just give me my boots.
Chandler: (pause) I don’t have your boots.
Monica: Well I don’t have them either. Where are they?
Chandler: Well, why don’t you check in one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bale of hay!
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
Chandler: Honey, are you seriously ever gonna wear the boots again?
Monica: Okay, I’m never gonna wear them again. I just didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.
Chandler: Y’know what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
Monica: Okay. (Climbs back on his back.) All right.
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
Monica: (to the boots) Bye boots—Wait! Half off?! (Chandler runs off.)
Rachel: Joey, just because they’re not getting married doesn’t mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Let’s hear their plan! Now, what’s the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Bobby: Well...I really have high hopes for my band.
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why don’t you tell us a little bit about your band?
Bobby: Well it’s just me and my pal Rooster, the band’s name is Numb Nuts.
Rachel: (To Dina) Really? (Nods her head at Bobby.)
Joey: Dina, if you’re having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, that’s not a compliment!
Dina: No Joey! I knew you wouldn’t be supportive!
Joey: So whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! What are you gonna do? You’re gonna have the baby and-and raise it by yourself...without a husband?! You can’t be a single mother alone! You’re gonna ruin your life!
Rachel: Oh excuse me! Am I ruining my life?
Joey: No! No! No! It’s different for you. You’re so strong and together. You’re not some dumb kid who doesn’t know what she’s doing.
Dina: Excuse me?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Rachel: So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?
Joey: Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well...so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb Nuts—Oh forget it! I can’t!
Dina: Joey, I am scared to death about this. But I really think I can do it, I’m just gonna need some help. And Bobby’s gonna be here the whole time.
Bobby: You bet I am! (To Joey) And to answer your earlier question, we’re straight-up gangster rap. (Joey shakes his head as if he’s about to lose it.)
Dina: Look, Rachel’s told me how much easier you’ve made all this on her. Why can’t you do that for me?
Joey: Because! ‘Cause... ‘Cause you’re my baby sister!
Dina: And you’re my big brother! I mean, you’re my favorite guy in the whole world. I’m not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Joey: Well I’d be scared of them, but all right.
Dina: Joey, I can’t stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Joey: Of course he’s gonna have his Uncle Joey!
Dina: We’re gonna be all right. I mean, even if we’re not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Joey: That’s right! By his uncle too!
Bobby: And by you.
Rachel: Okay Bobby, why don’t we just come over here and let them have a little moment. (Drags Bobby away from Joey and Dina.)
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
Rachel: No! Seriously! What’s wrong with you?!
Ross: You’re gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I do love you! How did you do it?!
Ross: Well...let’s just say... (singing) Rosss caaaaan!
Phoebe: Oo, where are the seats?
Ross: Uh, middle balcony.
Phoebe: Okay, now would you say that that’s more than 50 yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Phoebe: Then that’s not breaking the law! I’m there!